LOST THE PLOT! Author's note Hi there, I'm the author of Lost The Plot! If you're into horrendous experimental writing, this is the place for you! If not, feel free to switch to something more interesting. I won't bore you for too long - you're not here for my rambles (at least, not yet). But there's something I want you to know before you read. This is a long story. While each chapter is relatively short, there's like, 17 of them. If at any point you feel the need to stretch your legs, get some water, or just take a screen break, please feel free to do so. You are under no obligation to read this in one sitting - in fact, I encourage you not to. There'll even be an intermission if you need the extra reminder. Okay, that's all. On to the story... Oh yeah, the age rating. This story was written for all ages! Shocking, I know. Chapter 1: This story is a tangent. Once upon a time, three girls were sitting in a playground. It's a fine start to the play, albeit blunt. I suppose that's just the writing style - it's clearly amateur. Tess, Lemon, and Kate are three girls of seemingly no great importance (obviously they're somwhat interesting, they're the subject of this story). They grew up in the same quiet neighborhood, and have been friends ever since grade four - they met at a birthday party where they bonded over the hatred of Daniel, a presumably obnoxious boy who isn't mentioned anywhere else in the text. Boom, Friendship! Pointless backfill aside, the story begins in the middle of their conversation on a park bench, where Kate is telling her friends all about her wonderfully bland trip to the mountains - more specifically how she got the tacky red sweater she was currently wearing. Tess sits to her right, visibly bored, whilst Lemon makes more of an effort to look interested. You can only imagine their sighs of relief when Kate runs off to bug her parents for travel photos. ... Lemon's glow-in-the-dark watch says that Kate's been gone for ten minutes, but to the girls, it couldn't have been more than five. Still, as the hands converge closer to 4:30, she can't help but worry. Lemon is a paranoid girl, and the conveniently located forboding forest is making her even more anxious than usual. Despite her requests to search for their missing friend, the two of them sit there for another five minutes - two to Tess, and ten to Lemon. Tess is more than happy to leave Kate behind. She'd been frustrated with her over-the-top chattiness for weeks, and with the first day of Official Middle School coming up, she can't afford to be seen with someone like her (oh my gosh who wrote this???). It's only because of Lemon's insistance that she agrees to look, and even then she barely does. After half-heartedly checking under the slide and trailing behind when Lemon questions the parents, she tries to cop out. I believe the exact quote reads: if she's gone, she's gone! It's really no big deal. But, as luck would have it, she trips. Not over a stick, or a pothole, but something red that trails into the forest... Yarn. The way it's written, the story really wants you to think the yarn is blood. It details Lemon and Tess' horrified reactions, even having one yell out "KATE IS DEAD!" for extra flare. But they're not stupid. It's out of character - not to spoil anything, but the entire plot hinges on the two being smart and perceptive. Either way, the girls eventually realise that A) The blood is, in fact yarn. B) It's the same shade as Kate's sweater. and therefore, C) It'll lead them to Kate. So, they follow it into the forest. Chapter 2: Scene: set SCENE 2: THE FOREST A dark forest with dim lights. EERIE FOREST AMBIENCE plays in the background, NOT just forest ambience. There IS a difference. TESS and LEMON are following a red string, looking for KATE. LEMON is in front, enthusiastic. TESS is uninterested. LEMON. KATE! Can you hear us? TESS. Are we done yet? LEMON. Are you out of your mind? We haven't even reached the end of the string yet! TESS sighs, but continues. Almost instantly, the string ends in a non-suspicious clearing. TESS doesn't say anything, but holds the string up and stands with her hand on her hip. WIND NOISES play. LEMON. Wha- she has to be here! The string... TESS The string means nothing, Lemon. I've been trying to tell you that for the past 20 minutes. TESS drops the string and sighs (the first of many...) LEMON (emotionally). I'm not giving up on her! TESS. Well I am. Heck, I did 20 minutes ago. I'm going back. TESS (to self). Alright, which way did we come... TESS steps on a plate, opening a trapdoor. DOOR CREAKING sound plays. TESS (cont'd.) ...from. LEMON excitedly examines the trapdoor. LEMON. Oh my gosh, how did I not see this before? She has to be down here. TESS. ...are you sure? This door looks... ancient. LEMON. Yeah yeah, just come down already. LEMON runs offstage, 'through' the trapdoor. Tess rolls her eyes, stands for a while, then sighs and walks through as well. Chapter 3: To-do Sounds Playground ambience Clock ticking Organ strike Eerie Forest ambience Wind Door creaking Glass breaking Elevator music Static Crash Footsteps Scream NO SCREAM. DO NOT PLAY THE SCREAM. Organ strike Boss music Power shutdown Sci-fi ambience Machine start up Whizzing Cheering Birds chirping To-do Before show Put on stagehand uniform (ew) Place bench Change set to playground Have sounds open & ready to play Scene 2 (forest) Remove bench Remind boss to place string Place trapdoor onstage Change set to forest Dim lights Remind boss to remove string Scene 3 (lab) Change set to lab Place chair Brighten lights Sponsor break (QuickHear) Prepare sounds \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Chapter 4: A masterclass in comprehending death Scene four begins when Tess and Lemon descend a rickety metal staircase into an abandoned science lab. The equiptment is dangerously cobbled together - an amalgamation of test tubes and big red buttons that warn you not to push them. After Tess breaks an empty glass as a one-off joke to emphasise the lab's age, they resume their search for Kate. In another room, a figure shifts in her chair. She's been sitting for longer than she can remember, anxious, waiting for someone to save her. Brought in a hurry, told to stay put until they came. She's helpless and lost and confused and so, so scared. When she hears the door open, she knows this is her chance. "TESS! LEMON!" She yells as loud as her voice permits. Lemon perks up at the sound of her friend's voice; Tess, not so much. She's more concerned about the dust clinging to her hair - she'll have to wash it twice tonight. Lemon doesn't buy it when she insists it was nothing, so she resigns to brooding as her friend frantically examines the room. Lemon knows where the exit is. Not by heart, but she'll recognise it when they leave. Plus, the main priority right now is finding Kate. Not the exit. Kate. She knows she's in here - that was her voice she heard (right?). No. She isn't doubting herself. She could recognise Kate's voice anywhere and she definitely heard it comeing from... which direction did the voice come from again? Gosh, this lab is weird. Whoever brought Kate here clearly has the worst intentions if they've made the place this hard to navigate. See! it's fine that she isn't actively thinking about the exit, good, even! That means she's using 100% of her energy on looking for Kate. No, she's not being snappy. Tess is just getting on her nerves - really, how can she be so careless? saying all these horrible things about Kate and the lab and threatening to press that button and- what? "I'm gonna do it if we don't leave." "Tess." "I will. I'm going to. See." Her hand hovers over a button on the wall, adorned with warnings and saccharine danger. "You can't press that, you don't know what it does." "Go home and I won't" "You can't be serious. Tess." Lemon almost laughs. What actually comes out is more of a dry choking the walls don't even bother to mirror. Tess' fingers dance across the plastic, tapping the edge of the button, a promise about to snap. Lemon is a paranoid girl, and a smart one. She knows this isn't normal. The rules that governed life abandoned her at 4:35. And even though it makes no sense for the button to kill her, There's always the chance it could. (She lands with a thud) She lunged towards Tess, (against the wall; a click!) eyes burning, (To her growing horror,) heart pounding, (she begins to realise) thoughts racing to catch up with her body. (what she's done.) The alarm is already blaring. THE ALARM! Chapter 5: Chapter 5 is sponsored by QuickHear [alarm] Okay, everyone in positions? Jeffrey, is the elevator music ready? "In position, we'll count on the start of three. Start on the count of three, ack! Okay. One, two, three!" [elevator music] I'm sure you're all wondering how Lemon and Tess will fare in the underground lab, but first, a word from our sponsor... ... Jeffrey, drumroll! "Sorry!" [drumroll] QuickHear! Are you tired of low-quality sound effects with [static] More static than a plastic slide? Do you want clean, uninterrupted music for your projects? Well, look no further than QuickHear. Every crash, [crash] footstep, [footsteps] and ear-splitting scream that you hear in this play was ethically sourced from QuickHear. Their website is easy to use, hassle free, and most importantly, You don't need to pay! Visit QuickHear.site, where quality sounds are just a click away. [scream] "Shoot. Sorry." Anyways, back to the story, where Tess and Lemon must find a way to escape. JEFFREY, YOU'RE FIRED! Chapter 6: Tess is a jerk who can't get in the tunnel "QuickHear? Sounds like a scam" "You were listening to that? I'm- no. Tess, what were you thinking? Were you even thinking? You can't mess around in places like this, we, you could get hurt." "Woah there. I didn't press the button, that was your fault." "Wha- You started it! I wasn't the-" "GUYS! IN HERE!" "That was loud. We're getting closer." "No we're not, it's probably just, like, the echoes. Something sciencey." "Keep yelling, we'll find you!" "OVER HERE!" "Tess, I found it!" "That? It's so... small." "We'll have to crawl, but I think we can fit." "I'm not doing that." "Tess." "You go in, i'll wait here." "Oh my gosh, you're joking." "No." "Get in." "You first." "No, then you'll just stay here." "Oh no, you caught me." "Tess, please. "Fine, but you go in first. Like actually please go in first." "You're really stupid, Tess." Chapter 6.5: The aftermath Shadows veil a darkened face You thought I'd left, and gone no trace But lists stay empty, tasks undone Without me here, this place won't run If i'm being honest, open I've openly bashed their motives Told to go back to my chores "Don't touch things that aren't yours" Day by day, suspicions grow I have to see, I have to know If i'm aiding a worthy cause Or letting them omit its flaws I will atone for my mistakes This time it's real, I know the stakes So now I wait, I lie backstage Revising lines for our big break Chapter 7: Reunion Kate is in the centre of the room, tied to a chair, doing her best to squirm free. Lemon rushes over to her, worriedly inquiring if she's okay. "Yeah, just help me get untied!" She chimes. She looks overjoyed to see the two, as usual. Eyes fixed on Lemon, dashing to Kate at random intervals, then getting lost in some imaginary detail. She has a birthmark on her wrist that vaguely resembles a star. She taps her foot - one two, three four - the same rhythm Kate does when she's bored in science. She's even wearing the same eye-catching sweater from this morning. Her overwhelming normalness puts Lemon off in a way she can't place, but she supposes it's nothing. As long as Kate is safe, she can ask exactly what happened later. It's no big deal. She shifts her focus to the rope tying her down. I like to think that Tess has an odd history with knots; Her dad took her camping as a child (to her and her hair routine's dismay). They had an odd kind of tent that required you to tie it to a tree for support, so he taught her how to tie knots - square, overhand, clove hitches and the like. He taught her how to untie them too, so she could take it down after. Tess never tells anyone because she doesn't want to talk about her dad. He's older now, and they stopped going camping when he started having to use a cane. However, none of this is written, so we can only assume that Tess has an unusual proficiency with knots with no explanation other than it being useful to the plot in that moment. She unties the knot, but Kate doesn't move. She just sits and smiles. Cheerful. Normal. Surely whoever had taken her would've done something to her. Cut her hair, or something. But she was completely unchanged. Almost as if nothing had happened. It's Tess who figures it out first. I'm sure you've noticed it's become a bit of a running joke in this play, that Tess unintentionally furthers the plot whilst trying to escape it. But this time, she isn't trying to avoid the task, just take a jab at Kate's fashion sense (or lack thereof) "Geez, I thought they would've had you change into something less obnoxious before tying you up." Lemon was about to defend Kate, but she had to admit Tess was right. Even if she'd word it differently, the question still remained: Why do you still have that sweater? And more worryingly: wasn't it destroyed? (Yes, it was. The sweater was unravelled and strewn across the forest floor. Tess had tripped over it and thought it was blood. Lemon was adamant about following it to the end. It led them to the bunker.) So, if Kate's sweater was gone, How was she still wearing it? Chapter 8: Recreation Building a robot is simple, really. You need only knowledge, and metal and wire to bring your vision to life on the screen - But we're not building a robot, no. This is something more. Give her flaws, give her strengths, memories and tendencies. Thread the hair and set the eyes. Dot the freckles one-by-one. Lead her by your lines of code, In ways that pass as rational (?) She need not be symmetrical, a human isn't anyway. Building a robot is simple, see, it's building a human that's hard. Chapter 9: Revelation (and pi) Kate is a terrible mathematician, if you can even call her one. For the record, Tess is fine at maths, and Lemon is just above average - but that isn't important. It's Kate's mathematical inadequacy, combined with students tendency to forget everything they've learned over the holidays, that determines Lemon's next question. "Kate, what are the first 10 digits of pi?" Now, truth be told, the paragraph you're about to read wasn't actually written. But I think you'll like it. I think it'll make a bit more sense. By some stroke of luck and probably a parent's email, the girls ended up in the same fifth grade class. Their teacher, Mr. Amber, was both a brilliant man and an absolute nutcase. He was a maths teaher specifically, and he liked to think he was raising a generation of curious and enlightened young minds by giving them questions far too complex for a fifth grader to handle. For his first homework assignment, he told them to calculate the first 10 digits of pi. Most kids knew the first 3.14, but resorted to looking it up. Lemon proudly wrote an extra 159, and Tess copied off of her the morning it was due. Kate, however, had forgotten about the assignment entirely, so when Mr. Amber called on her the following Monday, she said the first relevant thing she could think of: her mom's apple pie recipe, which she knew by heart. For some reason. She made a show of it too - put on an accent and lept onto the table with all the grace of a horse on rollerblades. After two 'Get down!'s and a threat to call home, Mr. Amber realised there was nothing he could really do to stop her. In fact, he wasn't even sure she'd heard him over the entire class's laughter. Kate couldn't care less about circles, but ever since that day, she loved talk about pi. If you choose to believe my version of the story, it makes a lot more sense why Lemon asks about pi, and not something like "who do you like?" or "what's your mother's maiden name?" Either way, it works. "The first 10 digits of pi are as follows: 3.141592653." So, in case you haven't figured it out by now, "THIS ISN'T KATE!" [faint organ strike] ... "Look, that wasn't a rope, it's a wire!" Tess points, eyes suddenly wide. Lemon runs her hands along the cord, feeling for a semblance of sense against the wall. Seconds flicker past. The outlet is hiding behind a table. She pulls. [Power shutdown] Rather anticlimactically, the replica flops down onto the chair. By now, it's almost 5:20 pm. Wait, 5:20? Intermission time! Go take a break!! I'll be right back! Chapter 10: I wonder what sandwiches they'll have in the vending machine [T: 5:22 PM. START TRANSMISSION.] T: -you remember which way we came? L: Yeah, it was just through the tunnel and... uh... L: There was a staircase somewhere, and the button... T: Is the tunnel even here anymore? I don't see it on the wall. L: Of course it's here, it's just o-oh my gosh it's not here. T: Great. Stuck here in this stupid lab, with this stupid robot on this stupid- T: Sorry. L: I'll keep looking. T: Do you think the sponsor guy knows the way out? L: The... sponsor guy? From earlier? T: Yeah. They seemed... familiar... with this place. L: Maybe. Is there another button in here? T: Nothing I can see. Check the walls. L: Got it. L: Anything? T: Nope. We could try calling them over... they heard the alarm, maybe they'll hear us too? T: Just an idea. L: No, no. You're onto something. SPONSOR GUY? HEY! OVER HERE! CAN YOU SHOW US THE EXIT PLEASE? ???: Oh, hey. You called? L: You're not the sponsor guy? T: Wait a second, you're Jeffrey! You were fired! J: ...you heard that? J: Nevermind. The narrator- L: The what? J: The guy who did the sponsorship - they're on a lunch break. Listen, we don't have much time until they realise I'm here. I can give you guys an exit but it'd be going incredibly off script and well... It's all technicalities, really. I just need you guys to sign some terms and conditions before I can get you out. Let me just... here they are, just a second... J: Here. T: I'm not reading all that. L: And signing these will get us out of this lab? J: Yes. J: The exit is just through that gate. L: how did I not see that... [T: 5:31. END TRANSMISSION] Chapter 11: SOMEBODY-YOU-DIDN'T-SEE'S INTERLUDE AND HOW TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL. Okay audience, here's a brief explanation of what just happened. Stagehands aren't supposed to interact with actors. It's like, the number one rule of plays, other than always face the audience, project your voice, don't exit the same side you entered, and never wish an actor good luck. They're rules - only to be broken sparingly and with intent. You can't just go around breaking rules for no reason, Jeffrey, that isn't allowed. But this time I had to. I had to get Tess and Lemon out of this. Truth be told, I don't know how the story will end now that the kids are free. According to the script, they were supposed to study the lab equipment and invent a teleportation device, but who knows what'll happen now that they're free. I can only hope they get out of here and don't come back. Does this mean I'm the reason you can't teleport? Maybe. Okay, yes! But they don't need to know that. Hell, they're already too close to breaking the fourth wall, so don't go and tell them! If I didn't know any better I'd tell those of you in thr front rows to move back a little. I knew that wasn't funny. Why did I even say that. Ugh. Anyways, we still have a bit of time. Are any of you hiring? I'll actually, hold up, I'll get my resume out. Here we go, Jeffrey P. Ettic- what? None of you are hiring? Of course, of course! Stupid question. I'll just put this back then. Stupid question, are you hiring? Who asks their audience that? Gosh, I'm desperate. Just. Just forget that happened. Actually, perfect timing! The Narrator - curse them - is coming back! None of you say a word about any of this, especially not the last part. I was never here! Chapter 12: Master plan ACT II THE NARRATOR walks onto the stage and starts addressing the audience. NARRATOR That was a good sandwich. Oh man, I could really go for another one of those. Anyways. Back to the story, where are we now? Right, act 2. After robot Kate was defeated, the two girls found themselves stuck. By some stroke of luck and pure convenience, whoever built this lab had left a partially written manual on how to build a time machine. They also had rations and water and oh my gosh who wrote this? Ugh, anyways. A few years later, they realised the machine would be their best shot at escaping. They were now much older - Lemon had just turned fifteen, and Tess was soon to follow (though they, of course, didn't know this). They were making steady progress, when- "Stop right there!" Oh my gosh. Is that the line? Is that your grand enterance? By the way, you're supposed to let me finish my monologue before you come onstage. It's like THE number one rule of plays, other than- hold on. Why are you still here? The actors were supposed to change... Did they seriously quit last minute? "You can cut the jargon, we know you killed Kate! Or whatever." What? "Hey guys! I FOUND THE PHOTOS!!! Oh, who's this?" ??? "Ohhh I get it!! You guys want to talk in private! Cool, cool cool cool. I'll just be. Over here. Continue." YOU AREN'T MEANT TO BE HERE. "How... you killed her! That's what I thought at least. Shoot. Tess, did we get the wrong person?" That's what I thought too, but obviously something went wrong! I just, I don't understand how this could've happened! I did everything right! "That doesn't expla-" SHUT UP, I'm monologuing. Wait. ... "Awful lot of silence for a monologue." "Tess!" No. It can't be. Who am I kidding, there's only one possible explanation for this. You guys went off-script, didn't you? That's why the timeplines changed! You sneaky sons-of-mary-sues, you can't do that! Who let you out? "I di-" [crash] "ow ow owowowowOWWWW oh my GOD OW." JEFFREY? I fired you ages... ago... Um... You okay there, Jeffrey? "I'm FINE. Just stubbed my toe. Now, what I meant to say was, ahem, I DID! And before you ask why I'm still here, who do you think played the rest of the sounds? This play would've been toast without me!" "Play? What are you-" You can't give them permission, you- you aren't part of the company anymore! "Read it and weep!" I'm not reading all of that! "Oh. Uh, well, they gave permission, and as a staff member, I had no choice but to oblige." Again. Not a staff member... Ugh. You know what, screw it. Nobody else is playing their roles, why the hell should I? Screw this. Screw you. Jeffrey, play some cool villain transformation music. "Can I just reuse the robot Kate track?" Sure, fine. Whatever. Chapter 13: ... [boss music] I'M THE VILLAIN NOW! Come on guys. I put a lot of effort into that transformation. Some reaction would be nice. Jeffrey you can stop the music now. [record scratch] "Wait, you just had that moustache in your pocket this whole time? Sounds a bit like you planned this." I PREPARE FOR THE WORST. "Okay but-" GOODBYE. "Holy [redacted] "Tess!" "Lemon, she just [redacted] disappeared! "I know, just, wow. Okay. Oh my gosh. Bring her back!" Or what? Really, what's your plan here? Is Tess going to find some magic scroll with a spell that can stop me? Go on. Do something! Bring your friend back with the power that lies dormant within you! "I-" GOSH you're pathetic. I might delete you too, just for the hell of it! "As a staff member, I forbid you from harming them!" FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU AREN'T A STAFF MEMBER. "You're right." Huh? "I'm an undercover cop, and you're under arrest for unethical business practices!" Since when were you a cop? "I mean, I had to get a job somewhere, didn't I? Also, your hands go behind your back, not in front." Yeah yeah, I know- hang on. Didn't you just say you worked for me? "Didn't you just say I didn't?" That is NOT the point right now. "Then what is?" The point is that I'm being wrongfully arrested! Do you even know who I am? "No?" "I'll tell you who they are. They're a terrible manager who makes us wear these hideous uniforms and fires people on a whim! Not to mention the insanely corrupt company this guy runs. They are robbing people of their memories, of their lives! And for what? Some sliver of hope that you might remember something about yours?" Choose your words, Jeffrey. "Yeah! This sick sucker right here, the manager of Lost The Plot Productions, can't even recall-" That's right, I'M THE MANAGER! And I'm passing on my business to you. "Wait, a promotion? Really?" Yep! It's all yours. I'll leave you to soak it in. "No way. Can you guys believe this?" "No, not really." "Lemon, don't ruin he Moment." "I sure can't. Manager, oh boy! I'm gonna do so much for this place! I'm going to improve working conditions! I'm going to redesign our logo! I'm going to... deal with the allegations." "Wait, what?" "Now... I'm under arrest for unethical business practices. Wow. Uh. I guess I'll just... get these spare handcuffs out..." "You need any help with that?" ... "Yeah." Chapter 14: Guttering Memories are fickle souls - Fragile and unreliable, Importance insurmountable, Their power, undeniable. When you've lost your power You'll do anything for glory. Devoid of an identity, You try to find your story. See if slivers spark a flame That fans into an answer. Waste years searching records dry. Long for something faster. An idea pops into your head, So brilliantly grand! You hire a few employees And draw up a business plan. An empire stood on stolen dreams, You rifle through their lives. On stage, you justify it, Despite what the curtains hide. What happens to the actors Once they're finished with the show? A spectacle of lights to take Them all out in one blow! You don't remember feeling guilt For everything you've done Only a sense of pity For the person you've become. Chapter 15: The end. "What should we write? "I dunno, it's yours now. Whatever you want." "Actually, a mansion would be nice. Or the winning lottery numbers." "You're so shallow, Tess." "I know." Hi. It's Lemon. We have the Narrator's typewriter now. I guess this is our ending. For some reason, Jeffrey left it to me. He had to sort out all of the Narrator's magical-and-probably-cursed writing equiptment, and I guess I was the first person he could think of. So. Our ending... Kate is alive. After the Narrator lost the typewriter, their power over our story wore off. It was a shock for Kate to learn what had happened, but she took it well in the end. It was one of the only times I saw her cry, and the only time I saw Tess care. We made it through middle school intact, though not without some ups and downs. Kate got a lot better at math, but she'll still joke about her mom's pie recipe when asked. Tess bought us a house with the money she won from the lottery, and now we all live together and have ice cream for dinner every other night. We also have a dog (Sherbet) and two cats (Millie and Mara). Jeffrey was found innocent and released from Jail. He now works at Stall-Mart and wears a giant badge with his full name - Jeffrey Path Ettic - on it. His boss is nicer now and they have dental, whatever that means. "You're forgetting the important bit!" "OH! Of course." The Narrator isn't real anymore. If I really can write anything with this, I'll write them out of existence. They'll never be able to come back, ever. No ifs, no buts, no loopholes or maybes or althoughs. Their company is shut down and doesn't reopen. And hopefully, they shouldn't even be relevant in 5 years, according to Tess. And then we all lived happily ever after. Chapter 16.0: Who wrote this? Some notes, in no particular order. Lost the plot is heavily based on a play I wrote in 2024 that was *somehow* performed at our school. The original play ended with Lemon asking Kate the first 10 digits of pi to confirm she was real, and Kate getting so confused she dies. Fortunately for her, that doesn't happen in this version. Technically, the Narrator referencing the original author in this piece makes me a character, and by extension, you, the reader! How does it feel to be canon? I think it's pretty great :) When Kate was in grade 4, one of her classmates tried to wash her birthmark off because she was sure it wasn't real. That was the other time Lemon saw her cry. The narrator has a younger sister, Sequel. You have no idea how important she is to the lore. The original name for Lost The Plot was The Narrator's Playground. Get it. Because it starts in a playground, and the Narrator- okay yeah everyone got it. I'd like to acknowledge the actor who played Jeffrey in the original version who had to witness The Horrors when it came to costuming. Anything you're imagining now is probably 10x better than what he actually had to wear. Socks and sandals were involved. It was hideous. I regret nothing. Lemon, Jeffrey, and the Narrator all wear glasses! I justify not mentioning that because this is technically a play and you could technically see the actors. I might add it into the actual piece one day, who knows! It took me about 2 weeks after writing the final edition of the script to add page numbers. I'm sorry guys, that was foolish of me. Chapter 5 (the sponsor break) was based on the actual website we used to source the sounds for the play! When I first held auditions, I had 3 actors sign up who fit their roles SO WELL. There was no fighting about casting, no hesitation. Hired on site! And then they all quit to join another, much better, much more well-written play another classmate had written. Can I blame them? Absolutely not. Did it hurt? Yeah, a little. It turned out okay in the end though. Jeffrey has a cousin, Walter, who ate concrete as a child. This piece gets SO much funnier when you know me in real life. There are so many references and inside jokes hidden in here, it'd be impossible to count. Chapter 16.5: Who wrote this Everyone knew I'd write something for showcase. It was a sort of inevitability, like rain when you forget your umbrella, or traffic when you wake up on time. That's sort of why I wrote - because it was my job. I am a writer, my sibling is a fighter, and the ocean is blue. It was natural for me, and for everyone around me. Did I enjoy being a writer? Yes. I did. I still do. But not everyone else enjoyed me being a writer. Especially not the six unfortunate souls subject to my most recent literary abomination. The Narrator's Playground. For context: Our english teacher had us write radio plays on the theme 'mystery,' and, wouldn't you know it? I wanted to expand on my story. Suddenly (and I mean suddenly. I wrote the first draft for this in three days.), it's a shoddily-written 15 minute actual physical play, and it needed actors. So, I got them: 5 classmates ready to gamble their last shred of sanity, and a sound technician. I won't detail what happened next, because all you need to know is that the original performance of The Narrator's Playground was a disaster. I'd like to apologise to the original actors, on the off chance any of them are reading this (I know you are, lobot, you absolute email. go to sleep.) I'm sorry. This play was a hot mess from day one. I knew the plot was out there, it made no sense, but that's what I loved about it. That's what I still love about it. I wanted to create something a bit weird. Something that made you want to take it apart out to see how it worked. Something that made people curious, intrigued, inspired. I wanted it to be funny when it could be and serious when it needed to be. Both infinitely complex and delightfully simple. And to some degree, only truly beautiful in retrospect. I wanted people to gasp! To feel giddy when they discover something hidden, like a little secret between them and me, the author. I wanted them to finally understand what I meant. That's the duty of a writer - to draw meaning from words. It's my job, and I'll do it until the ocean runs pink and the sky dries up and the sun starts to lose its sparkle. I will write because it's natural for me, and for everyone around me. And one day, someone will read, and they will try to find me instead of trying to fix me. And one day, someone will read, and they won't have to find me. Chapter 17: The end, for real this time.